Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sometimes life isn't very fair

This is a short post. I'm posting only because I am forcing myself to write once a week minimum.

I'm watching my heart dog, Delilah, slip away, one day at a time.

Some days she is bouncy, wants to go for a walk, wants to play, wants to eat. Some days, like today, she is slow.

She eats her food slowly - and sometimes not at all. She doesn't want to play or go for a walk today. She's losing weight - slowly, but surely.

Everything about her is slowing down.

And every day she still greets life with all of herself, even if all she has to offer is a five minute game of tug or a few thumps of a tail. Some days, she's full of life and wants to run the block.

But all the same, I'm losing her. Each day is closer and closer to the end.

No matter how long it takes, it'll never feel like we had enough time. It will always feel too soon.

I know I don't have many (if any) readers yet. I'm sorry this post is such a downer.

Today is one of Delilah's off-days. They are more and more frequent, which means I have to re-evaluate quality of life on a daily basis now.

The day is coming, I just don't know that I'm strong enough. I know she is, and I know she'll tell me when she's ready.

I know that somehow I'll have to say goodbye. I just don't know how I'll find the strength.

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